Kerry Wood’s Nintendo Finger

My friend James pointed out that we haven’t really talked about Kerry Wood’s blister issue much yet.  Many Cubs fans are wondering how it is possible that he has been sidelined with this blister since June 11th.  In my opinion, there have to be factors other than baseball involved. 

Potential contributing factors to the Cubs doing without their closer since June 11th:

  • Immoderate playing of the Nintendo Entertainment System.  Children of the 80s know what I’m talking about.  This common button-mashing malady has been well-documented and classified as a repetetive strain injury (RSI).  Of course for Wood to be afflicted by this particular RSI, he would have to eschew the traditional dual thumb positioning of the hands and opt for the dual finger attack on the A and B buttons.
  • A brown recluse spider bite.  According to, “Symptoms of a brown recluse spider bite include reddened skin followed by a blister that forms at the bite site . . . This sore may take months to heal.”
  • The hours of practice Wood puts in trying to learn how to play the guitar left-handed as he wants to be like Hendrix, McCartney, Cobain, and David Cook, American Idol winner in 2008.

But things aren’t all gloom and doom in the Cubs’ closer situation.  Marmol looked confident against the Brewers in last night’s series-opener, and Samardzija could also easily put opposing comeback attempts to death.  It will be nice to have Wood back, though.  So lay off the NES a bit please, Kerry.

Now listening to: The Advantage

2 Responses

  1. It’s just too bad he can’t be fixed with a good, hard blow in the cartridge.

  2. I’ve tried that approach on many of life’s problems, and it never seems to work.

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