July 1st, 2008
Cubs vs. Giants
Locale: Fineran’s Backyard Pub and Grill (FBPG)
Present: Corey, Andrea, Steven, Beth, Andy, Tawny, Mallory (Infant), and Wrigley (Dog)
Occasion: Cubs march to the playoffs/Corey’s biennial (happens every two years) new phone
Game Event—Fukudome takes some chin music from Cain.
Corey: Do you like Fukudome as a leadoff hitter?
Andy: I do… I like him there a lot more than Soriano
Corey: all about OBP and speed
Andy: If I had to rank my top 3 leadoff hitters for the Cubs—1. Theriot, 2. Fukudome,
Corey: I like Theriot in the two spot though.
Andy: Yeah me too.
G.E.—Ward hits into double play to end the inning.
Middle of 1st: Corey informs us about how a man exists who smuggles baseball players out of Cuba
and into America, and somehow Henry Blanco (Hank White) is involved. Corey also informs us how much he hates it when someone calls Blanco “Hank White.”
Also, two attendees have excessive ear wax. It is also discussed that gnats are attracted to earwax.
Bottom of the 1st:
Andy: Whom do you think the Giants manager, Bruce Bochy looks like?
Andrea: Tim Robbins (if you look at his mouth again and he had shaved)
Corey: Luis Guzman
Andy: Love-child of Dennis Miller and Gollum/Smeagol
Conversation Topic: Favorite Giants Memory–
Corey: when they lost to the Angels in the WS/Dusty Baker out-managed by Mike Scocia in the WS/Dusty Baker’s child almost plowed at home/Kevin Mitchell barehanded catch
G.E.: Giants score one run on Soto’s throw to 2nd. Our questions–Should Soto have hung onto the ball, or should Marquis have cut it off?
Andrea: A woman said the word “dramastically” on the 6 ‘o clock news
Mallory is crying and inconsolable after the Giants first run. Beth holds her and reassures her that the next Ted Lilly start is coming soon enough.
Topic—Nervous about Zambrano start coming up on Thursday?
Corey: It looked like he was holding back/overly-cautious in his bullpen session.
Andy: I’ll be happy to have him back, but worried about him developing a more serious injury
It was a sketchy bottom of the first for Marquis, but he escapes with only one run allowed.
Corey: Twin Peaks was a good series… got kind of slow in the middle but picked up again toward the end. Maybe a better mini-series than series.
Beverage of choice list:
Beth: Woodchuck/Whitey’s strawberry-Oreo shake with a misting of Skin So Soft
Steven: Woodchuck, but mostly AmberBock
Andrea: my own spit/nothing
Corey: AmberBock/cherrywood pipe tobacco
G.E.: A junebug is humping Ronny Cedeno’s face. He fights it off like a Big Unit fastball.
Corey: Worst Giants memory?
Corey: Will Clark single-handedly destroying the Cubs in the ’89 playoffs. Many people would put Bonds somewhere here, but he isn’t worth mentioning.
Andy: Now it’s the photo of Bob Brenly getting champagne dumped on his head.
Feelings about the new WGN Logo:
Beth: anime peeping Jane
Andy: nightmare fuel
G.E.: Marquis seems to be settling down and back on track.
Corey: Sonic’s 99-cent shakes—tits boner!
Top of the inning: Cubs go gentle into that good night.
Bottom of the inning: Ward’s two-out catch leaves Cendeno laughing on the turf.
Andy: Ronny Cedeno—does he have enough chew in his mouth for the winter?
Corey: I thought they banned it in the mid-nineties. It clearly isn’t enough.
Andrea: There were guys at my old job who clogged the water fountain with chew.
Andy: Live fast, die fun.
Beth: At least he’ll have his tribal armbands when his face rots off.
Corey: The good thing about Lee leading off in the 4th is that he can’t hit into a double play.
Corey: Whenever I see Daryle Ward I think of Randall Simon.
Andy: Scott Eyre’s goatee update—still all party, no business.
Corey still uses Friendster.
Several of us still have Livejournals and a long history of LJ stalking.
Beth types in a Kermit de Fwog voice.
Jason Marquis crawls to first base.
Theory of the game: Ronny Cedeno is possibly a douche-canoe.
Evidence: -tribal tats
-prodigious wad of chew
-embarassing at-bat against the Orioles (three straight high-and-away pitches swung on and missed)
Andrea: Narrow head-size people tend to be d-bags more than people with a round head
We like DeRosa’s weighted bat practice swing.
Aflac trivia question:
Will Bonds ever play MLB again?
C) Only on PlayStation (choice “C” courtesy of Corey)
(We ignore the game for a little while to watch the laptop’s slideshow screen saver)
Bottom of the 7th:
FBPG Poll Question:
Will the Cubs come back in this game?
A) Yes –1
B) No –2
C) Maybe –2
Corey: Why is Matt Murton on the bench tonight?
Andy: Great Question.
G.E.: Patterson is in to pinch-hit.
Corey: Omigosh they have Eric Patterson in there. Why is he wearing a uniform?
::Patterson strikes out, stares down the pitcher::
Corey: Oh go ahead and stare him down, Patterson… stare him down all the way back to Des Moines.
Durham’s bloop to shallow left… no reason he should’ve made it 2nd in the first place. F this game!
Corey recommends the movie The Fan with Robert DeNiro
9th Inning: Cubs’ last chance.
Lee: Triples to right center gap. The tying run comes to the plate.
Ward: Out no. 1.
Soto: Singles in Lee—score: 2-1 Giants.
Edmonds: Flies out to center—Out no. 2.
Fontenot: Single… runners at first and second.
Final Verdict: Brian Wilson wins total asshat of the game award (TAGA) for his Triple-H-esque hand motion after the final strikeout by Theriot.
Cubs lose 2-1–a tough loss. I had a friend who actually cut himself off from watching Cubs games in 2003 because he sometimes felt that the outcomes of the games would determine his mood for the day. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that pro baseball is really just a bunch of guys of caveman stature trying to hit a rock with a club (I swear I’m not just looking at you, Henry). Watching this game with friends reminded me that even watching a tough Cubs loss can be a lot of fun, and tomorrow is another game.