Rumblings From a Drunken Idiot

So the other day.. I decided to go watch the Cubs play.  I guess it would have been Wednesday.  I end up sitting next to this guy.. Mick.  He was just one of those guys that just talks to hear himself talk.. and that’s fine if, while talking, you make sense.  Mick brought something to my attention though.  In fact, he brought a few things to my attention:

1.  The Cubs played 165 games last year.  Regular season games, that is.  “The Cubs played 3 more games than anyone else, and barely won the division.”  So.. How many games did the Cubs play last year?  “165.” What was the Cubs record, then?  “Umm.. I don’t really know.  I think 85-79.”

2.  The Cubs will not be in first place come August.  Will you put money on that statement?  “No.  But I’ll write it down.”  If you’re so sure that the Cubs will not win the division, why won’t you put money on it?  “You guys say that every year;  I’ll write it down though.”

3.  Mick was a true Cardinals fan.  You seem to know everything about my Cubs.. sort of.. If you aren’t rooting for the Cubs, who do you root for?  “Anyone playing the Cubs.”  Umm.. that doesn’t really count as a team.  Surely you have a favorite?  “Nope.  Anyone playing the Cubs.. and the Cardinals.”

4.  Ben Sheets is just coming back from the 6 day DL.  Ben Sheets can’t afford to give up too many walks tonight.. he’ll be on a pitch count.  “They won’t have him on a pitch count.. he’s Ben f****** Sheets.”  I dunno man.. he’s just coming back from the DL.  “What DL, the 6 day DL?”  That actually doesn’t exist.  The 15 day.  “How’s he 3-0 and have been on the 15 day on April 29th?”  The same way there are pitchers who are 6-0.. namely, Brandon Webb.

5.  Mick was drinking Michelob Ultra.  While it doesn’t really have anything to do with anything, I felt like it should probably be pointed out that I’ve only ever known two people to regularly drink that, and they were both douche bags.  I’m not saying that anyone who drinks it is a douche bag, but it does seem to be a disturbing trend.